People ask me, “What type of marriages are there?” like there’s a neat menu where you pick Option A or B and life goes smoothly. I wish.
After more than two decades as a couples therapist in California, I’ve learned this: most couples already have a marriage type. They just never named it, never agreed on it, and never wrote down the rules.
Online dating makes this even more obvious. When you meet on an app, you skip a lot of shared context. You might not share friends, a hometown, or family traditions. That can be great, but it also means you have to talk more on purpose.
And that matters, because online dating is not rare anymore. In one major wedding study, 27% of couples met via an online dating site or app in 2024. Pew also reports that 3 in 10 U.S. adults have ever used a dating site or app, and 1 in 10 partnered adults met their current spouse or partner that way.
6 dating sites to meet women right now
If you want to date with a goal, pick one app that fits your style, then use it on purpose for 30 days. Here are six options that cover the main lanes:
- SofiaDate — The big mainstream platform. High volume, fast matches, lots of variety. Best if you can handle noise and filter well.
- SakuraDate — The “serious match” option. More prompts, more profile detail, more talk before a date. Best if you want fewer matches and a better fit.
- LatiDate — The “women lead” platform. Puts more control on the first message and pacing. Best if you want a calmer start.
- LanaDate — The “faith and values” option. Stronger focus on lifestyle, family goals, and belief match. Best if values matter more than vibe.
- GoldenBride — The “40+ and grown-up” site. People tend to be clearer and less casual. Best if you want less drama and more direct talk.
- NaomiDate — The “international” website. Cross-border dating with culture gaps and real logistics. Best if you like long chats and have patience.
Different types of marriages: 2 ways to sort the whole topic
When people search for different types of marriages, they usually mean one of two things:
- Forms of marriage (the legal setup)
- Marriage types (the day-to-day relationship style)
Both matter. A lot.
In my work, I use Emotionally Focused Treatment (EFT), which is a practical, attachment-based approach. I like it because it helps couples spot their repeat fights and change the pattern instead of “winning” the argument.
Forms of marriage: the “paperwork” types that change your rights
When I say “forms of marriage,” I mean the legal setup. This is the part that controls your rights when things go great… and when life gets messy. It can affect taxes, health insurance, medical decisions, property, inheritance, immigration, parental rights, and what happens if you split up.
A quick reality check: lots of couples put huge effort into the wedding and almost none into the legal details. Then, later, they learn the hard way that “love” and “legal” are not the same thing.
This is the standard legal marriage through the state. You file paperwork, you get a marriage license, and the government treats you as married. It’s the simplest “this counts” version for most legal rights.
Where it matters most: taxes, shared assets, medical decisions, and divorce rules.
A religious ceremony can be deeply meaningful, and for many couples, it’s the center of the whole thing. Still, in a lot of places, you need the civil paperwork too if you want the state to recognize the marriage.
Common problem I see: one partner assumes “we’re married now” after the ceremony. The other later learns there was no legal filing. That can turn into a huge shock during a medical crisis, a breakup, or a money conflict.
This is a civil marriage that applies to same-sex couples where it’s legal. The key point is not the label. The key point is legal recognition and equal rights under the law where you live.
Extra note for couples who travel or relocate: legal recognition can shift across borders. If your life spans countries, it’s smart to check the rules before you need them.
Civil partnerships exist in some places as a legal alternative to marriage. In practice, it can offer many of the same protections as marriage, but details vary by country and region.
Why couples pick it: some want legal protection without the cultural weight of “marriage,” or they want a framework that fits their values better.
This is where it gets confusing. In a few U.S. states, a couple can be treated as married without a formal ceremony if certain conditions are met. In many other states, it does not exist at all.
The trap: couples say “we’re basically common-law married,” then assume they have rights they do not have. If you’re counting on common-law rules, do not guess. Check your state and get legal advice.
This is a stricter legal option in a few states. It usually has extra steps up front and tougher requirements for divorce later. Some couples like it because it forces serious talks early and makes “walk away fast” less likely.
Who it fits: couples who want stronger guardrails and who agree on the values behind it.
This is not always a separate legal category, but it shows up in real life all the time. Some couples are married in the eyes of family or community first, then do paperwork later. Some never do the paperwork, even though everyone calls them “husband and wife.”
Why it matters: cultural pressure can set rules about money, gender roles, in-laws, and kids. The couple needs to talk about those rules out loud. If they do not, the marriage type gets chosen by other people.
The 60-second checklist I want couples to do before they pick a form of marriage
- What rights do we need? (health insurance, immigration, medical decisions, inheritance)
- Where will we live in 2–5 years? (state or country moves can change legal outcomes)
- Do we need legal backup? (wills, power of attorney, prenup, parenting agreements)
- What does each family expect? (and what boundaries will we set)
This is the boring part, and it protects your future. If you want the romantic part to last, handle the paperwork part like adults.
Marriage types: the “real life” styles I see most
When people say marriage types, they usually mean the day-to-day vibe: how you make choices, how you fight, how you handle money, sex, family, and time. This is not about paperwork. This is about what your marriage feels like on a random Tuesday night.
Also, these labels are not “good” or “bad.” They’re just patterns. Some are calm but a little flat. Some are passionate but exhausting. Most couples slide into a type without talking about it, and then they wonder why they keep having the same fight.
Here are the styles I see again and again in my office.
1) The “best friends + roommates” marriage
You like each other, you’re loyal, you function well. People often say, “We never fight.” The risk is that the spark fades, and nobody says it. Sex turns into a “someday” topic. Touch drops. Flirting feels awkward.
What helps: plan fun on purpose. A date does not have to be fancy. It does have to happen.
2) The “high-chemistry, high-fight” marriage
The connection is strong, and so is the blow-up cycle. A lot of these couples actually love each other a ton. The problem is how they handle fear. Silence feels like rejection, so one pushes. The other shuts down. Then both feel alone.
What helps: learn the pattern, slow it down, and talk from the soft spot (“I miss you,” “I got scared”) instead of the armor (“You never care,” “You always do this”).
3) The “parent-first” marriage
Kids come first, always. The couple bond becomes the thing you squeeze in if there’s time, like sleep. Many couples don’t notice the shift until they stop feeling like partners and start feeling like co-workers.
What helps: protect couple time like it’s a medical appointment. If you wait for the “perfect week,” it won’t happen.
4) The “business partners” marriage
This type runs on tasks: bills, goals, projects, house stuff, and schedules. It’s stable and productive. It can also feel cold. People here often say, “We work great as a team, but I don’t feel wanted.”
What helps: a weekly check-in that is not about logistics. Ask simple stuff: “What felt good this week?” “What felt lonely?” “What do you need from me?”
5) The “traditional roles” marriage
One person leads, one supports. Sometimes this fits both people and feels safe. Sometimes it becomes unfair fast. The biggest danger is unspoken resentment, especially when one person is doing the emotional work and the other thinks the paycheck covers it.
What helps: clear agreements and real respect. If the roles are chosen freely, great. If they’re forced by guilt, family pressure, or money, it will leak out in fights.
6) The “two strong careers” marriage
Two busy people, two calendars, lots of stress. These couples can love each other deeply, but the marriage gets whatever energy is left. Then “little things” become big fights because both are tired.
What helps: fewer late-night serious talks, more small daily warmth. Ten minutes of closeness beats two hours of arguing at midnight.
7) The “second-chance” marriage
After divorce, betrayal, or loss, people want peace. They also bring fear into the new relationship, even if they swear they won’t. One late reply can trigger an old wound.
What helps: name the fear early. Don’t punish your new partner for your old partner’s mistakes. Build trust with consistent follow-through, not big promises.
8) The “long-distance” marriage
Some couples make it work and feel very close. Others slowly drift. Distance adds cost, time, and a lot of guessing. It can also hide problems because you’re together in “vacation mode,” then apart again.
What helps: clear money rules, clear visit schedules, and a real plan for when the distance ends. “Someday” is not a plan.
9) The “open rules” marriage
Some couples agree to sex outside of marriage. It can work when both truly want it, the rules are clear, and nobody is pressured. It can also explode when one person says “okay” just to keep the relationship.
What helps: brutal honesty before anything happens, not after. If one person is in pain, slow down. No setup is worth a long-term injury to trust.
The part couples miss: most marriages are a mix
A lot of marriages are not one type. You might be “best friends + roommates” during a hard work season, then swing into “parent-first” after a baby, then become “business partners” while you buy a house.
That’s normal.
The win is not “pick the perfect type.” The win is noticing what type you’re living right now, then choosing what you want next, together.
The numbers I bring up when couples argue about “what’s normal”
When couples fight, they often pull out fake “everyone does it” facts. Here are real ones I like because they calm the room:
- Online dating is mainstream: 3 in 10 U.S. adults have used a dating site or app; adults under 30 are even higher.
- Plenty of real couples meet online: 1 in 10 partnered adults met their spouse/partner on a dating site or app.
- For weddings, online is a top path: 27% of couples met via an online dating site or app in 2024 (per a major wedding study).
- Divorce rates are not the old “50%” soundbite: CDC FastStats lists provisional counts and rates (and notes that not all states report).
- Marriage stress is rarely “just the marriage”: As I say on my site, couples often also deal with depression, anxiety, grief, betrayal, addiction, and more.
Swipe-to-marriage: 12 rules I tell people who meet online
If you want marriage (or you want to avoid a bad one), your dating habits matter. A lot.
- Pick one lane. Casual lane or marriage lane. Stop “kind of” doing both.
- Write your goal in plain words. “I want a serious relationship” beats clever jokes.
- Do not text for weeks. If you like her, set a date.
- Ask 3 deal-breaker questions by Date 2. Kids, marriage timeline, lifestyle basics.
- Watch follow-through, not charm. Kind texts are easy. Plans and respect are the test.
- Do one video call before the meeting. It saves time and lowers risk.
- Keep first dates short. Coffee or a walk. Leave wanting more.
- Do not build a fantasy. You do not know her after 10 great chats.
- Talk about money early. Not income. Style. Debt, saving, spending, giving.
- Talk about family pressure early. Some people are dating you and their parents at the same time.
- Do not skip hard talks because sex is good. Sex can glue cracks shut for a while.
- Name your marriage type out loud. If you want a “best friends” marriage, say it. If you want a traditional roles marriage, say it. If you want strict monogamy, say it.
My couple’s work: 4 cases that taught me the most
I’ll keep the details changed to protect privacy. These are “made from real parts,” not one-to-one copies.
They met online and had nonstop chemistry. By Week 6, they fought about tone, texting gaps, and jealousy.
The real issue was fear: both read silence as rejection. Once they learned to say “I miss you” instead of “Where were you?”, the whole mood changed. This is why I love EFT. It helps people talk from the soft spot, not the armor.
Two good people, two kids, one calendar that ruled the house. Their marriage type drifted into “project managers.”
We set a rule: 20 minutes a day for couple talk, no kid talk. Then one date night every two weeks, even if it was cheap. They did not need a bigger house. They needed protected time.
One partner expected traditional roles. The other expected an equal split. Nobody said it clearly before the wedding.
This is the most common fight I see around “different types of marriages.” People assume their model is the default model. It is not.
I’ve said this publicly, and I stand by it:
“Please be encouraged when I say that I’ve seen seemingly impossible situations become relationships that are loving, safe, and intimate.”
Not every couple stays together after betrayal. Some should not. But when both people want repair, the work is real, and the result can be real too.
The “pick your marriage type” checklist
If you do nothing else, talk through these before you marry. Write the answers down.
- Money: joint, separate, or mixed? Who pays what?
- Work hours: what is “too much” work?
- Chores: who does what, and what happens when life gets hard?
- Kids: yes/no, timeline, parenting style, discipline basics
- Sex: frequency hopes, porn rules, flirting rules, deal-breakers
- Phones: passwords, social media, DMs, old flames
- Family: holidays, in-laws, boundaries, private stuff
- Faith: what matters, what does not, how kids get raised
- Alone time: how much is healthy for each of you
- Fights: do you take breaks, or chase? What are off-limits?
If you want a marriage that lasts, you need fewer assumptions and more agreements.
Bottom line
So, what type of marriages are there?
There are the legal forms of marriage, and there are the real-life marriage types you live every day. The couples who do best are not the ones who “got lucky.” They are the ones who name their marriage type, agree on the rules, and fix problems early.
Online dating can lead to solid marriages. The data says it already does. Your job is to date like a grown-up, talk about the hard stuff sooner, and pick a marriage style on purpose instead of by accident.
If you want, tell me your age, your goal (casual vs serious vs marriage), and what you want your future marriage to look like day to day. I’ll suggest the best platform from the six above and give you a 30-day plan you can follow.
