Q: What inspired you to delve deep into relationships and therapy?
Peggy: From a young age, while my peers were engrossed in teenage conversations, I was immersed in psychotherapy books. My fascination with human relationships and how they function led me to this profession. The complexities and layers of human connections never cease to astonish me.
Q: How crucial is emotional awareness in relationships?
Peggy: Emotional awareness is fundamental. Many relationships suffer because individuals avoid confronting unpleasant emotions or aren’t even aware of them. This lack can strain connections, leading to misunderstandings and resentment.
Q: Can a couple with contrasting attachment styles find harmony?
Peggy: Absolutely. Understanding and recognizing one’s attachment style is the first step. By addressing and working through these styles, couples can find mutual ground and strengthen their bond.
Q: What’s the most common issue couples come to you with?
Peggy: A lack of healthy communication and unexpressed expectations are frequent concerns. Many couples struggle to effectively share their feelings, leading to a build-up of misunderstandings and conflicts.
Q: How does emotionally-focused therapy differ from other approaches?
Peggy: Emotionally-focused therapy prioritizes attachment and bonding. It delves deep into emotional awareness, guiding couples to reconnect by sharing feelings, ideas, and reintroducing engaging activities.
Q: How do untold expectations harm relationships?
Peggy: Untold expectations can set a relationship up for failure. When partners don’t communicate their hopes and needs, it can result in feelings of disappointment and resentment.
Q: What advice do you have for someone entering a new relationship?
Peggy: Be emotionally prepared. Relationships aren’t just about physical attraction; they require emotional readiness, understanding, and effective communication.
Q: Why did you choose to practice in Costa Mesa and its surrounding areas?
Peggy: This community resonates with me, and I feel a strong connection to the people here. By practicing in Costa Mesa and nearby areas, I aim to give back to the community by fostering healthier relationships.
Q: How do you simplify complex psychotherapy concepts for the average person?
Peggy: I believe in breaking down intricate ideas into relatable anecdotes, using simple terminology and real-life examples. It’s essential to make these concepts accessible to everyone, regardless of their background in psychotherapy.
Q: How have attachment styles evolved over the years?
Peggy: While the basics of attachment theory remain consistent, societal shifts, technology, and changing relationship dynamics have influenced how individuals attach. This evolution is a topic of continuous study and intrigue in therapy.
Q: What’s the role of mutual appreciation in relationships?
Peggy: Mutual appreciation forms the foundation of trust and understanding. When partners value and respect each other, it fosters a safe environment where both feel understood and cherished.
Q: How do you approach couples who’ve grown distant from each other?
Peggy: My approach involves rekindling their emotional connection. Through emotionally-focused therapy, we work on reopening channels of communication, understanding the root causes of their distance, and reigniting the spark.
Q: How important is it for partners to share inner fears?
Peggy: Sharing inner fears is vital. It fosters vulnerability, trust, and understanding, enabling partners to support each other and navigate challenges together.
Q: What are the signs of an insecure attachment style?
Peggy: Insecure attachment can manifest as anxiety in relationships, fear of abandonment, excessive neediness, or avoiding intimacy altogether. Recognizing these signs is crucial for therapeutic intervention.
Q: How do you foresee the future of relationship therapy evolving?
Peggy: As societal norms and expectations shift, relationship therapy will continuously adapt. Technology and virtual sessions will play a larger role, but the core essence – understanding human emotions and connections – will remain timeless.
Getting Started
Q: What happens during the first session, and what should I expect?
Peggy: The first session is about getting the lay of the land. I’ll ask what brought you in, what’s been hard lately, and what you want to be different. If you’re coming as a couple, I’m also watching the “dance” between you—how things escalate, how you disconnect, and what each of you is trying to protect.
Q: How do we prepare for therapy to get the best results?
Peggy: Show up honest, not perfect. Come in with one or two examples of what keeps happening (the same fight, the same shutdown, the same anxious spiral). And the biggest thing: try to stay curious—about yourself and your partner.
Q: What is your therapeutic style—structured, directive, or more conversational?
Peggy: I’m warm and conversational, but I’m not vague. I’ll guide the session, slow things down when emotions run hot, and help you name what’s really going on underneath the surface.
Q: Do you provide direct feedback during sessions?
Peggy: Yes—kindly, and with a purpose. If I notice a pattern that’s keeping you stuck, I’ll name it. My feedback is there to help you change the cycle, not to judge you.
Q: How do you handle emotional or intense moments during a session?
Peggy: I slow it down. I help you stay present, breathe, and put words to what’s happening. Big emotions aren’t “bad”—they’re usually the doorway to the real work, as long as we keep it emotionally safe.
Sessions, Timing, and Progress
Q: How many sessions do most clients or couples need?
Peggy: It depends on what you’re coming in for. Some people want focused help with one issue, and some want deeper long-term change. For couples doing EFT, it’s commonly described as a short-term model—often 8–20 sessions—but every relationship has its own timeline.
Q: How long does it take to see meaningful improvement?
Peggy: A lot of people feel some relief once we name the pattern and start changing the conversations. Deeper change takes longer—because we’re building new emotional habits, not just learning “tips.”
Q: How do we know that therapy is working?
Peggy: You’ll usually notice you recover faster after conflict, the same topics don’t explode as quickly, and you feel more like a team. In individual therapy, you’ll notice more emotional steadiness, better boundaries, and less time stuck in spirals.
Q: Is it normal to experience conflict during therapy?
Peggy: Yes. Therapy is where real stuff finally gets said out loud. My job is to help you have those conversations in a way that’s safer and more productive than what happens at home.
Q: Do you give homework or exercises between sessions?
Peggy: Sometimes, yes—small, practical things. It might be a new way to start a hard conversation, a short check-in ritual, or a “pause and repair” plan when conflict starts. Nothing overwhelming—just enough to keep momentum going.
Q: Can I end therapy at any time?
Peggy: Yes. You’re in charge of your care. If you want to pause, take a break, or wrap up, we can do that thoughtfully and make sure you leave with a plan.
Q: What happens if we feel therapy isn’t a good fit?
Peggy: Tell me. Seriously. We can adjust how we’re working, clarify goals, or—if needed—I’ll help you find a better fit. The goal is that you get the help you need.
Couples Therapy and EFT
Q: How does Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) differ from other methods?
Peggy: EFT is less about “who’s right” and more about “what’s happening between you.” We focus on the emotional bond and the pattern that keeps hurting you both—then we help you change that pattern so you feel safer and closer.
Q: How long does EFT usually take to show results?
Peggy: Many couples feel a shift once we clearly name the cycle and stop blaming each other for it. Bigger changes—trust, vulnerability, consistent repair—usually take more time and practice. EFT is commonly described as 8–20 sessions, depending on the complexity and whether there’s a trust injury.
Q: Does EFT work for people who struggle to express emotions?
Peggy: Yes. You don’t need to be “good with feelings” to do EFT. We go slowly, and I help you find simple language for what’s happening inside—without pushing you into an emotional performance.
Q: Is therapy helpful for couples in high conflict?
Peggy: Yes—often that’s when it’s most needed. But we’ll set clear ground rules so sessions don’t become another fight. High conflict usually means the cycle is loud and fast, so we focus on slowing it down first.
Q: Can therapy help after infidelity?
Peggy: Yes. But it’s not a quick “just trust again” situation. We work step by step: what happened, what it meant, what the impact was, what accountability looks like, and how to rebuild emotional safety in a real way.
Q: How do we know whether our relationship can be saved?
Peggy: I look at willingness more than “who caused it.” If both of you are willing to show up, be honest, and try new responses (even imperfectly), there’s usually a lot we can do. If one or both of you are checked out, we can still work toward clarity and respectful next steps.
Q: What if one partner wants to separate but the other wants to stay together?
Peggy: That happens a lot. Therapy can slow down the panic and help you have the real conversation underneath the threat of separation. Sometimes the goal becomes reconnection; sometimes the goal becomes clear, respectful decision-making.
Q: Does couples therapy guarantee that we will stay together?
Peggy: No. I can’t promise an outcome. What I can do is help you communicate honestly, reduce the damage of the cycle, and make decisions from clarity instead of chaos.
Q: What if our relationship includes emotional withdrawal or shutting down?
Peggy: Withdrawal is usually protection, not lack of caring. We work on making it safer to stay emotionally engaged—so you don’t have to choose between “fight” or “freeze.”
Q: Can we combine individual therapy with couples therapy?
Peggy: Yes, sometimes that’s the best plan. Couples work changes the relationship pattern; individual work helps each person with their own triggers, anxiety, grief, trauma history, or self-worth stuff. We just do it in a way that stays clear and ethical.
Q: Can I attend therapy alone if my partner refuses to come?
Peggy: Yes. Starting alone can still help a lot—because when one person changes how they respond, the whole dynamic often shifts. And sometimes, once your partner sees real change, they become more open to joining later.
Q: How do we choose between couples therapy and individual therapy?
Peggy: If the main problem is the relationship pattern—do couples. If you’re struggling personally (anxiety, depression, grief, self-esteem)—start individual. And if it’s both, we can build a plan that covers both.
Trauma, Triggers, and PTSD (Relationship-Safe Work)
Q: How do you work with trauma or trauma-related triggers in relationships?
Peggy: We go slower and we prioritize safety. We identify triggers, create a “pause plan” for escalations, and build ways to reconnect without re-traumatizing each other. If deeper trauma work is needed, we can talk about adding specialized support.
Q: Can EFT be used when one or both partners have PTSD?
Peggy: It can, yes—especially when PTSD is affecting closeness, trust, or conflict. The pacing matters a lot, and we focus on regulation and safety so the relationship becomes a support, not another trigger.
Intercultural, International, and Relocation Stress
Q: What challenges are common for intercultural or international couples?
Peggy: Misunderstandings about roles, family expectations, money, “what respect looks like,” and how emotions are expressed. A lot of couples aren’t actually fighting about the surface topic—they’re fighting about meaning.
Q: How do you work with couples who speak different native languages?
Peggy: We slow down and check understanding more than usual. I’ll often have each person say what they heard and what they meant, because translation isn’t just words—it’s tone, intention, and culture.
Q: What can we do if our cultural expectations are very different?
Peggy: We make them explicit. “In my culture, this means love.” “In my family, this means respect.” Then we build a shared agreement that works for your relationship—not just one person’s background.
Q: How can a couple rebuild trust after immigration or relocation?
Peggy: Relocation can flip power, independence, and identity overnight. We work on naming those losses, building new stability, and creating small daily actions that rebuild trust—especially around support, loyalty, and “we’re in this together.”
Q: Do you work with long-distance couples?
Peggy: Sometimes, depending on logistics and what’s clinically appropriate. If you’re long-distance, I’ll usually recommend a clear structure (how you communicate, how you repair, how you stay connected), and we can talk about whether teletherapy is a fit.
Q: Can you help couples who are considering marriage for immigration reasons?
Peggy: I can help you talk through the relationship part—trust, expectations, family pressure, roles, conflict style, and whether you’re emotionally ready. I’m not an immigration attorney, so for legal questions you’ll want a qualified lawyer.
Individual Therapy Topics
Q: Do you work with anxiety, depression, or self-esteem issues individually?
Peggy: Yes. A lot of people come in feeling stuck in an internal cycle—overthinking, self-criticism, fear, shutdown—and we work on changing that pattern in a way that actually holds up in real life.
Q: Can therapy help with emotional dependency or clinginess?
Peggy: Yes. Usually there’s an attachment fear underneath—“I’m not safe,” “I’ll be left,” “I’m not enough.” We work on building steadier self-soothing, clearer communication, and healthier closeness that doesn’t feel desperate.
Privacy, Records, and Confidentiality
Q: Are my sessions completely confidential?
Peggy: Therapy is confidential, and it’s always okay to ask exactly how confidentiality works and what the limits are. (It’s a normal, important question.)
Q: How do you handle confidentiality when working with couples?
Peggy: We talk about this up front so there are no surprises. Couples therapy has unique privacy questions (like what happens if one partner shares something privately), and we’ll agree on a clear policy before we get deep into the work.
Q: Do you keep therapy records, and how are they stored?
Peggy: Yes, I keep the clinical records I’m required to keep, and I take privacy seriously. If you have concerns about documentation or storage, ask me—I’m happy to explain it in plain English.
Q: Can I request copies of my therapy records?
Peggy: You can request records, yes. If you ever want something, we’ll talk about what you’re looking for and the simplest way to handle it.
Teletherapy + Practical Policies
Q: How do online sessions work, and what do I need to prepare?
Peggy: Teletherapy is simple: you’ll need a private space, a stable connection, and ideally headphones. I also recommend having a backup plan (like switching to phone if the connection glitches). Teletherapy is available.
Q: What is your cancellation or rescheduling policy?
Peggy: Please give at least 24 hours’ notice. If you miss your appointment without that notice, the full session fee applies.
Q: How does payment work, and do you accept insurance reimbursement?
Peggy: My rate is $150 per 50-minute session. I don’t bill insurance directly, but I provide a superbill you can submit for out-of-network reimbursement if your plan offers it.
Quick next step
If you’re ready to talk, you can reach out to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.
