Tag: Relationships

What If Your Spouse Doesn’t Want To Go To Therapy

(I WANT TO POINT OUT THAT I AM AN EMOTIONALLY FOCUSED THERAPIST AND MY SPECIALTY IS WORKING WITH COUPLES) That said, it is actually, quite normal for one person in the couple to object to going to therapy. Reasons given can vary tremendously: “too much money”, “my friend says therapy ended his marriage”, “you just…

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How does my anxiety affect my Primary Relationship?

Most people don’t realize that some anxiety actually aids learning.  For example, if you are taking a class, and you are sitting on the edge of your seat with intense attention, truly wanting to absorb everything the professor is saying, then you are experiencing optimal stress. However, if you go above that, such as a level…

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Relationship Conflicts: You don’t bring me flowers anymore!!!!

When couples come in for therapy, I often ask if there are one or two themes that keep coming up. Once we have identified those, then I look underneath them to see what deep emotions are tied to each individual’s reactions. In Emotionally Focused Therapy, we call these themes, “the Cycle”, or “the Dance”. It’s…

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When Your Thoughts Are Hurting You and your RELATIONSHIPS

One of the best tools we have for living a healthy life is our ability to think. Our world is composed of a large number of events that happen constantly. Some are positive and some are negative, and most are neutral. We interpret these events as they happen with a series of thoughts that flow…

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© 2017 Peggy Bolcoa, PhD, MFT

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