About

Hi, I’m Dr. Peggy Bolcoa, LMFT, PhD. I’m a California-licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (LMFT) based in Costa Mesa, California. I offer in-person sessions and teletherapy, and I work with individuals, couples, and families who feel stuck—either inside themselves or in the relationships that matter most.

Over the past 25 years, I’ve supported people through some of the hardest moments: ongoing conflict, emotional distance, anxiety, depression, grief, big life changes, and the quiet fear that “maybe this will never get better.” If you’re feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, or disconnected, I want you to know you’re not alone—and that change is possible.

A lot of my clients come in saying things like:

“We have the same fight over and over.”
“We love each other, but we don’t feel close anymore.”
“After what happened, I don’t know how to trust again.”
“I’m carrying everything, and I’m tired.”
“I don’t feel like myself.”

My goal is simple: help you feel more steady, more understood, and more connected—to yourself and to the people you love.

Want the short version of what I do? I help you slow down the pattern, understand what’s underneath it, and build healthier ways to relate—so progress continues in everyday life, not just in session.

Schedule an Appointment

Professional Credentials & Memberships

I believe therapy works best when it’s built on trust, transparency, and solid professional training. Below are the credentials, licenses, and professional communities that support my work—and help keep my practice grounded in ethical standards, continuing education, and real clinical responsibility.

Licensure & professional credentials

Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (LMFT), State of California
As a California-licensed LMFT, I’m trained to work with individuals, couples, and families, with a strong focus on how relationships, attachment, and family systems affect mental health and daily life.

California License: MFT 28920
My license number is MFT 28920, and you can verify my current status through California’s official license lookup. Licensing matters because it means I’m held to state standards for:

Professional ethics and client confidentiality
Ongoing continuing education
Scope of practice and clinical competence
Accountability and consumer protection

PhD
I hold a doctoral degree (PhD), reflecting advanced graduate-level study, research literacy, and extensive professional training that informs how I evaluate and apply evidence-based work.

Training: Wake Forest University & Chapman University
My professional education and clinical development were shaped through training at Wake Forest University and Chapman University, which helped build the academic foundation and clinical skills I use in my practice today.

Professional memberships, leadership & recognition

I stay involved in the professional community because therapy is always evolving. Ongoing connection to the field helps me keep learning, stay aligned with ethical standards, and bring the best of what’s current into my work with clients.

California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT) — I’ve been a member for 20 years (in good standing), which helps me stay connected to professional education, ethical guidance, and best practices.
The South Coast Center for Personal and Psychological Growth — I served in a leadership role as Clinical Director, supporting high standards of clinical care and professional responsibility.
The Stan Peterson Award — I received this award as recognition for my professional contributions and dedication to the work.
Psi Chi (National Honor Society in Psychology) — I was inducted through the Chapman University chapter, reflecting academic achievement and commitment to psychology.

My Approach

Therapy should feel safe, clear, and genuinely helpful—not confusing or overwhelming. My goal is to create a warm, respectful space where we can talk honestly about what’s happening, while also staying focused on real change. You won’t have to “perform” in therapy or have the perfect words. We’ll slow things down, make sense of the pattern you’re stuck in, and take practical steps toward feeling better and connecting more fully.

My main method: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

My core approach is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), which is based on attachment science. EFT helps people see the negative cycle they get pulled into—like pursuing and withdrawing, escalating and shutting down, or walking on eggshells—and then helps them change that cycle in a way that builds closeness and trust.

In simple terms, EFT helps you:

Identify the “pattern” that keeps repeating (the same fight, the same distance)
Understand what’s underneath it (hurt, fear, loneliness, feeling unseen, not feeling safe)
Learn new ways to reach for each other that reduce defensiveness and increase connection
Repair after painful moments, including trust breaks, and rebuild emotional safety

Attachment-based and family-systems work

I also use attachment-based and family-systems thinking. That means we look at how your early experiences, family roles, and relationship history may shape the way you respond today. Not to blame anyone—just to understand what makes sense about your reactions and to help you create new options.

What sessions with me are like

Clients often describe our work as:

Warm and nonjudgmental, but also structured
Focused on what’s happening right now, not just the past
Practical, with clear takeaways and things to practice between sessions
Emotionally honest, without turning the session into a place that feels too intense or unsafe

A note about spirituality (only if you want it)

If faith or spirituality matters to you, I’m comfortable including it only if you request it. If it doesn’t, that’s completely fine—our work stays centered on your goals, values, and what supports your healing.

My Services

People come to therapy for many different reasons, but most often it’s because something feels too heavy to keep carrying alone—or because a relationship that matters deeply has started to feel painful, distant, or stuck. My services are designed to meet you where you are right now, whether you’re looking for support as an individual, hoping to strengthen your relationship, or trying to improve family dynamics. I offer in-person sessions in Costa Mesa, CA and teletherapy.

Couples & Marriage Counseling (Emotionally Focused Therapy / EFT)

Couples therapy is a good fit if you’re experiencing:

The same argument repeating over and over
Feeling disconnected, lonely, or “like roommates”
Communication that turns into criticism, defensiveness, or shutdown
Trust breaks, betrayal, or the aftermath of infidelity
Trouble repairing after conflict—things get swept under the rug or never truly resolved

My work with couples focuses on helping you see the cycle you get stuck in, understand what each partner is really needing underneath the reactions, and build new ways to communicate and reconnect. The goal isn’t just to “fight less”—it’s to feel closer, safer, and more secure with each other. Learn more here.

Individual Therapy

Individual therapy can help if you’re feeling:

Anxious, overwhelmed, or constantly “on edge”
Depressed, unmotivated, or disconnected from yourself
Stuck in painful relationship patterns (even if you’re not currently in a relationship)
Grief, loss, or a major life transition that has shaken your sense of stability
Burned out or carrying too much for too long

In individual sessions, we’ll work on understanding your emotional world, strengthening coping skills, building healthier boundaries, and changing the patterns that keep pulling you back into the same place. Learn more here.

Family & Relationship Counseling

Not every relationship struggle is romantic. I also work with families and close relationships when there’s conflict, misunderstanding, distance, or ongoing tension that doesn’t seem to resolve. This may include:

Parent/child or adult family relationships
Communication that quickly escalates
Ongoing resentment, criticism, or emotional cutoff
Families navigating life changes, grief, or major stress

The focus is to help everyone feel more heard, reduce reactivity, and create healthier ways of relating. View all services here.

Common issues I help with

Relationship distress often overlaps with personal stress and mental health challenges. I commonly help clients work through:

Relationship conflict and communication breakdown
Anxiety, depression, and stress management
Panic attacks and phobias
Grief and loss
Parenting and family issues
Addiction and recovery
Work and career stress
Sexual and intimacy concerns
Health-related stress and medical concerns
Conflict resolution and life transitions

“What if my partner won’t come?”

This is very common. If only one partner is willing to start, that work can still be valuable. When one person shifts how they respond, it often changes the entire dynamic—sometimes enough that the other partner becomes more open to joining later.

Media & Publications

I regularly share research-based insights on relationships, attachment, communication, and cross-cultural couples.

Research

After two years of work—drawing from clinical experience, original research, scientific studies, and statistics—I published: “The Psychology of ‘Mail-Order Brides’ in Today’s U.S. Society.” In this paper, I explore the emotional, cultural, and psychological realities behind international marriages, combining data with what I’ve seen in real clinical work.

Testimonials

I value transparency, so I keep reviews on independent, third-party platforms:

Trustpilot: https://www.trustpilot.com/review/peggybolcoa.com
Yelp: https://www.yelp.com/biz/peggy-bolcoa-mft-phd-costa-mesa

If you’ve made it this far, you may already have a sense that something needs to change—whether it’s inside you, in your relationship, or in the way your family is communicating. You don’t have to have everything figured out before you reach out. A simple first step is enough.

I’d be honored to support you—whether you’re trying to rebuild connection, find your footing again, or create a healthier way forward.